How do you converse with God? Take a moment to reflect on that question. The way you speak and listen to him matters. God is a personal God. That means we can converse with him. That is what prayer actually is - having a conversation with God. What should those conversations look like? That depends upon the circumstances. Our prayers should reflect what is going on in our lives.
The poet, Christian Winman, has a poem entitled, “And I said to my soul, be loud.” The poem is about his pouring out his heart to God when he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. It was a time when he loudly poured out his frustration and fear to God. When in the midst of his pain, he yelled at God! The Psalmist cried out, “O God, do not be silent! Do not be deaf. Do not be quiet, O God” (Psalm 83:1 NLT).
In his poem East Coker, T. S. Eliot said, “I said to my soul, be still…” This is underscored by the Psalmist's words in Psalm 46:10 NLT - "Be still, and know that I am God!” If we quiet our souls before God, he will speak to us from the quietness as he did to Elijah on Mount Horeb.
So, which should it be? Should we be quiet or loud when we come before the Lord in prayer? The answer is a definite “Yes!” There are times when we need to sit with God in quietness, waiting for him to speak to our spirit. We need to “be still” and just listen. In the quietness, God speaks to us, and the quietness is needed for us to hear his voice. But so often our conversations with God do not include much listening. We need to be quiet in order to listen. There is a universal truth that it is almost impossible to listen when we are talking. When we fail to be quiet in God's presence and spend all our prayer time just telling him our requests, we will have difficulty hearing what he is saying to us.
There are other times, however, when we have a need to yell at God - when our souls need to be loud. Listen to these words of David in Psalm 6.
Lord, do not rebuke me in your anger; do not discipline me in your wrath.
Be gracious to me, LORD, for I am weak; heal me, LORD, for my bones are shaking; my whole being is shaken with terror.
And you, LORD-how long? Turn, LORD!
Rescue me; save me because of your faithful love.
For there is no remembrance of you in death; who can thank you in Sheol?
I am weary from my groaning; with my tears I dampen my bed and drench my couch every night.
My eyes are swollen from grief; they grow old because of all my enemies.— Psalm 6:1-7 CSB
These are not quiet words. These are not calm words. These are shouts of anguish. Shouts of despair. As I said in an earlier post (“It’s Okay to Yell at God”), “There are times when we need to express our frustration, our fear, our hurt by yelling at God. When we need to shake our fist and say, “How long, Lord? Before you answer me? Before you do something? Before you bring relief? How long, Lord?”
However, after we yell at God, after we are exhausted from pouring out our frustrations and pain, we then need to listen. God always answers us, and his answers are usually in a “gentle whisper” (1 Kings 19:12).
So, what is the main point here? Our prayers should reflect what is going on in our lives. God already knows what is happening in our lives. Our prayers do not surprise him, but he gives us the privilege of sharing with him. Sometimes we need to just sit silently and listen for God to speak to us. Sometimes we need to calmly share our requests. At other times, we need to get angry and yell at God. In every case, at some point, we need to stop talking and just listen.
So often, Christ Followers feel that their prayers need to follow a certain pattern or that they need to say certain words in certain ways. But prayer is just a conversation with God. It should reflect what is going on in our lives and what we are feeling. It should be “real and raw!” We have the freedom to say anything to God. He wants to hear our hearts, hopes, and hurts. He wants us to talk to him in honesty. But, he also wants us to listen!
In the quietness of his presence, he answers. He tells us that he is not surprised. He tells us how much we are beloved as his child. He tells us that he has everything under control - that everything will work out according to his will. He tells us to trust him, even if we do not understand the “why” of his answer, the why of his will - because “his ways are higher that our ways” (Isaiah 55:9). If we believe that God is sovereign and trustworthy, then we must believe that when we pray that the answer is for the best - regardless of what it may be! He also promises to be with us - no matter what the answer may be. He will be there to comfort, to strengthen, and to give us a “peace that surpasses understanding” (Philippians 4:7).