Slow Down to Respond

“Could’ve had a V8!”

It has been a while since I posted articles besides my Monday Missives. They come easy, as my primary writing passion is poetry, and poems seem just to come. Reflective posts, however, take time and some deep thinking. It has been a busy time lately, and I have not heeded my own writing about slowing down. So, today I have slowed down to think and reflect and continue with the “Slowing Moving Moments” series.

Do you remember the old V8 vegetable juice commercials? They usually involved someone smacking themself on the forehead and then saying, “I could’ve had a V8.”The idea was that if they had thought about it, they could have had a healthy drink instead of an unhealthy, sugary snack. The commercial’s punch line carries a message way beyond the product advertised. The real message is about thinking before we respond. The real message is, “If I would have slowed down and thought about it, I would have chosen a healthy drink.” In real life (commercials are not real life 😜), we often do not slow down to respond in thoughtful and beneficial ways. We rush through life, and our hurriedness impacts our decision-making. Our natural responses usually come from three areas.

• Our memory - Our previous responses

• Our emotions - What “feels” right in the moment

• Our selfishness - What is “best” for me

These three response motivators allow us to make quick, responsive decisions. That is sometimes called for. There are times when a quick response is needed. We may not have the luxury of being able to slow down. But there is another dynamic here. We live in a fast-paced world, and speed is addictive. So, it is easy to fall into the habit of not slowing down to respond, even when we can. We can easily fall into the trap of making almost all our responses “on the run.” When we get stuck in that response mode, our responses are often not the best ones we could make. Slowing down to respond can significantly benefit us. But how do we do it?

Ask three questions:

• Why do I have a sense of urgency to respond?

  It is easy to get caught up in a fast-paced life. We react quickly because we are in a habit of “fastness.” Stopping to ask ourselves why we need to respond immediately helps slow us down. Is an urgent decision really necessary?

• What will happen if I do not respond right now?

  What are the consequences of waiting to respond? Will the world fall apart? Just kidding. But if we do not respond immediately, will it make a huge difference? Will something or someone be harmed? Will the opportunity disappear?

• When is my response needed?

  We can easily assume that we “must” or “should” respond immediately. Where is that motivation coming from? Does the person sending me the email or text need me to get back to them right away? Maybe! Maybe not! And, even if they expect an immediate response, is it really needed?

Four acts for slowing down to respond:

• Begin with a prayerful attitude

  Proverbs 3:5-6 is well-known among followers of Christ, but do we follow its counsel? Do you slow down to “seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take?” Or do we forge ahead with our own thought-out response and later wish we had the “V8 of God’s direction?” We do well by slowing down enough to ask God to direct us in our response. Even in decisions that must be made immediately, an “arrow prayer” of “God help me” benefits our response.

• Consider the options

  When we respond to in one of the natural ways - memory, emotion, or selfishness, we do not consider many options. Our responses become quick and limited. Slowing down to consider options helps create a variety of possible responses that generally give us better options for our response.

• Let it “sit and simmer”

  Sometimes, we are forced to make a quick response. If that is the case, we do not have the luxury of waiting. But every response does not have to be immediate. When that is the case, pondering various responses and their possible outcomes helps us in developing the best possible action. Like slow cooking soup, they become better with time.

• Think long term

  Responses generally have a ripple effect. Our current responses often impact our future responses. How will the response we make today influence what we do tomorrow? It is easy to think only about the current response because it is the one we need to attend to right now. But thinking about the implications and precedence set by our current response is important for our future responses.

When we slow down to respond, we not only make better decisions, it allows us to attend to others - to hear their heart. And, most of all to hear the heart of Jesus

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This post was difficult for me to write because my personality style is to make quick decisions. I naturally want to quickly decide and move on. My brain shouts, “Just make a decision! Now!” So, I am truly writing this to myself, as well as those who read it. I pray that I can follow my own advice.

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